The sins of my past have always weighed me down. No matter how hard I try to do the right thing, I keep sliding back into my old habits. It’s not like I’m a bad person; it’s just that I have this ceaseless need to be loved. Maybe this is not my fault. Maybe it is because of something that my parents did. Maybe my mother never really had time for me and my father didn’t even acknowledge my presence. I watched as the whole world sped by me and somehow, I think I got left behind.
I have always been pretty; mum’s cheekbones and her flowing hair were all inherited by me. When he asked me to marry him, I jumped for joy because it felt like I could finally belong somewhere. That’s exactly what I wanted; a husband who adores me, a family, a house, a dog… Maybe I craved for too much because that marriage didn’t last very long. He left and when he left, he took a part of me with him. Before long, the second stranger entered my life. The same cycle repeated. Sometimes, I think that I’m caught in this vicious cycle where I finally trust someone and they end up hurting me. I’m afraid to be ALONE. At the same time, I am TIRED. These 5 men have used me and left me out to dry. I’m afraid to TRUST. People point fingers at me and think ill of me. I don’t have any friends.
Life has finally given me a break. I am currently living with another man now. No, We did not get married because I don’t think my heart could handle another betrayal. I may just collapse. He is kind to me, he doesn’t hurt me and has been civil to me. Even then, the sins of my past haunt me. It was during this time of depression that I met Jesus. This man wasn’t like the others; he didn’t despise me because I was a Samaritan and he seemed to know everything about my past and yet, He did not JUDGE me. He promised to give me ‘Living Water’ and he is full of profound wisdom. I had an encounter with the Saviour of the World. He decided to come and speak to someone as messed up and sinful as me. He has been staying with us and teaching us everything about God. I’m not the same person anymore. I’m FORGIVEN, REDEEMED and SET FREE. He would love to do the same for you. Also, I think he’s got a soft corner for the messed up people 🙂
Why don’t you give him a try? Maybe give him a little opening into your heart?
Have an awesome day ahead! 🙂
God Bless :*